I am sure a wise person once said; “At least be consistent, if ya can’t do anything else worth shit.” Or maybe I heard it in a movie once. Nonetheless…

 

In keeping with being consistent, got some more useless emails, full of inconsistent information, from building management. Can not miss the clear indication of a feckless cut and paste job.

QUOTE BUBBLE

In our continuing efforts to maintain a high standard of living, and to provide our residents with a safe and secure environment, we will be conducting elevator maintenance. This will require one or more elevators to be out of service.

 

We recommend that you complete activities that require frequent trips in the elevator (grocery shopping, access to the garage, etc.) prior to this event or wait to conclude them after this event.

 

We apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your understanding.

Continued

When is this “event”? What time does this “event” start and when will it conclude?

 

Those of us that depend on elevators (inquiring minds) want to know.

CONTRAST

 

In contrast I am going to share with you a cut and paste of the email we received about the pressure wash in the parking garage. Brace yourself, this one even came with a salutation!

Man pushing elevator button
QUOTE BUBBLE

Dear Customer,

 

Please be advised, the parking facility will be power washed over the weekend of Oct 21st – Oct 23rd. We will try and minimize any impact to parkers during this cleaning process. In order to effectively wash each parking level, we need clear access and no vehicles on the parking level being cleaned. Please see below schedule for power washing each level.

 

– Oct 21st (6:00PM – 6:00AM) – The P1 level of the facility will be power washed and swept. Please do not park on the P1 level during this specified time.

 

– Oct 22nd (8:00AM – 6:00PM) – The P2 level of the facility will be power washed and swept. Please do not park on the P2 level during this specified time. If you have a reserved space on this level, please park in the public parking on P1 or P3.

 

– Oct 23rd (8:00AM – 6:00PM) – The P3 level of the facility will be power washed and swept. Please do not park on the P3 level during this specified time. If you have a reserved space on this level, please park in the public parking on P1 or P2.

 

We thank you for your cooperation and understanding while we clean the parking facility. Should you have any questions or concerns, please contact me for assistance.

 

Thank you and have a great day.

Fuck me! That email had dates. Specific times! If only people were as important as a parking stall.

 

Although I have to ask myself; “why the weekend, when all the folks that work Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, kinda thing…?”

 

If anyone needs me and I am not in my apartment; feel free to look for me to be passed out in one of the stairwells. Don’t worry there are only two from which to choose.

An Empty Parking Garage
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